The Beginner’s Guide To Anal Sex For Women.
There are a bunch of amazing things you’ll discover as you start learning how to have anal sex, but there are also a number of drawbacks from having anal sex that you should be aware of too. For all the “ins and outs” of anal sex let’s start with the fantastic pros.
It’s truly a different type of orgasm!! Believe it or not, but women can have much more intense orgasms from anal sex. There are thousands or nerve endings in your anus, and if you struggle to have vaginal orgasms, then anal sex may be the answer.
The taboo or kinky factor. Another sexy aspect of anal sex is the “kinky factor” or the taboo of doing something that mainstream thinking is wrong. Breaking those taboos can fun and major turn on. More and more people don’t see anal sex as taboo as it once was, but if you do, then it’s just one more reason to have anal sex with your man.
You can’t get pregnant. I mean, do we even have to explain this perk?
A backup plan. Sometimes regular old vaginal sex is out of the question. You may not want to have it if you are on your period. You may have a UTI that you don’t want to aggravate. You may even be sore from a previous session. This is when anal sex becomes the perfect back up plan.
It’s not the most spontaneous thing. One of the biggest problems with having anal sex is that it requires some planning. You probably don’t want to try anal after a big meal or right before a bowel movement.
You’ll want to “prepare” before anal sex with cleaning and using approprate lubes or toys. There are also some other drawbacks just like in vaginal sex involving STI’s that we’ll get into in a little bit.
Many women aren’t interested in learning how to have amazing anal sex. They may go along with the idea with their man just because he likes it. The old saying, you should try everything at least once just to see if you like it and experience new things is great….but, you should never feel forced to do anything you don’t want to do. The same goes for anal sex.
So, if you never want to try it or if you’ve tried it once and didn’t enjoy it, then you shouldn’t feel that you have to keep doing it with your man. If your sex life consists of you doing things that you don’t want to do, then it’s not going to be a particularly satisfying one, and the purpose of this article is to show you ways to actually enjoy anal sex, not dread it.
Related article: Why men are obsessed with anal sex
It seems communication is a key theme in all sexual matters. Whether it’s for swingers, hotwives, cuckolds or any kink or sexual experience, and the same goes for this. Having great anal sex requires great communication.
are going to be telling your man what to do what not to do.
Here are a few instructions you should use for your first anal sex experience.
To slow down,
To pull out slowly
To completely stop moving.
Your man also needs to be someone who will actually follow your instructions too. If he thinks he is going to be in control and calling the shots, explicitly let him know that is NOT the case. Doing this isn’t so that you can “dominate” your man, it’s so that you get to experience the pleasures of anal sex.
If you are looking for pain free anal sex, then lube is a must have. There are four types of lube and using the right one, can make all the difference in your anal sex experience.
Water Based Lube — Water-based lube is made of mostly water. This makes it safe for anal sex, but it’s not perfect. The problem with water based lube is that it dries out quickly and then needs to be reapplied. Stopping to reapply lube can obviously ruin the vibe. You CAN use water based lubes with latex condoms as it does not degrade them. It’s also easy to wash out, especially if you’re having sex in water.
Silicone Based Lube — Silicone based lube is the lube that will probably work best. It’s compatible with latex condoms, so you won’t degrade them. It also lasts much longer than water-based lube, so you don’t have to worry about reapplying it either. It also feels super silky and smoother than many water-based lubricants. The one downside is that it can be a little hard to wash out of your sheets.
Oil Based Lube — Oil based lube feels a little smoother and silkier than water-based lube. It also lasts for ages, so it’s perfect for anal sex, but there are some significant drawbacks. It’s much harder to wash out of linens. More importantly, oil-based lube degrades latex condoms making them tear and rip. Bottom line, if you don’t want the condom to tear during the act, then don’t use an oil-based lube.
Saliva — Technically not lube, but if you’ve ever watched porn, this is the “go to” It’s water based, since it’s…well your spit, and it works with latex condom, but it’s not the best lubricant. And who really wants to keep making their mouth water to reapply if needed? One positive for saliva..it’s free.
When picking a lube, stay clear of any products that contain spermicide. The spermicide includes chemicals that can irritate your anus and tissues inside.
Finally…the part where we discuss the actual process of having amazing anal sex.
If you haven’t had anal sex before, or you have and it was painful. There’s a biological reason for this. There is a ring of muscle in your anus called the sphincter that keeps it tightly closed. This muscle isn’t like your typical muscle in which you can’t quickly relax and contract.
Instead, it takes quite a while for it to relax and allow things to pass through it. Think of it as a very strong, but very slow muscle.
If you try to pass something through the sphincter quickly when it’s closed, then it won’t have enough time to relax, and will in turn cause pain.
So, the key to having pain free anal sex is getting that sphincter muscle to relax and open up enough so that your man can enter you with ease.
Start With A Lubed Finger — You should probably try penetrating yourself first with a finger covered in lube so that you get to see how your sphincter reacts to it. If you’ve already done this a few times and have a good idea of how long it takes to relax around your finger, then you can get your man to try it.
He needs to apply a bit lube to the tip of his finger and some more to your ass. Next he needs to slowly slide his finger inside you, millimeter-by-millimeter, while you give him feedback, telling his to go deeper or to stop moving or to SLOWLY pull out.
As he slowly penetrates you deeper and deeper with his finger, it should feel reasonably comfortable, plus that moment when he penetrates you feels amazing and will send chills down your body.
If it becomes slightly uncomfortable, then tell him to stop moving and to keep his finger still for a minute or two. This will allow your sphincter to relax around his finger and open up. When the pain subsides, he can push a little deeper.
Thrusting — When he can’t penetrate you any deeper with his finger, he needs to slowly thrust in and out. Again you should control the pace here, so tell to him either speed up or slow down, depending on what you want.
Double Up — Once you are comfortable with your man thrusting in and out, he needs to try adding a second finger. Again, he should be very slow and cautious doing this, following your instructions and feedback to either continue, slow down, stop or slowly pull out.
Once he can easily thrust in and out with his two fingers, then either try three fingers or you can start having anal sex.
Don’t Use Numbing Gels — You might be tempted to reach for a product that numbs your anus for anal sex. However, these products aren’t lubricants and prevent you from knowing what is happening with your body. You could potentially be numb when a serious tear has occurred.
The most comfortable position to start having anal sex is with your man on his back so that you are in control. This means that it’s a lot harder for him to thrust into you and it’s much easier for you to control how deep you take him and how fast he thrusts.
So get him to lie down on his back and ask him NOT to thrust into you. Instead, he should remain still.
After applying some lube to your man and your backside, you can then straddle him on your knees like in the Cowgirl position seen here.
Grab hold of his penis and then slowly guide it inside your anus. Make sure to take your time. As we mentioned above, if you feel uncomfortable or experience any type of pain stop and allow your sphincter muscle to relax around his cock. Once it has, then you can try taking him a little deeper.
When your man is completely inside you and can’t go any deeper, you can slowly raise your body up and dow.
The main thing is to take things slowly. You don’t want to hurt yourself, so if you experience any discomfort at all, slow down or stop to allow yourself to relax.
Once you feel comfortable moving up and down on your man, then he can start to get involved a little more by thrusting himself. Remember that you still need to be in control here.
And there it is! It’s not rocket science, it’s just anal sex!
That is the easiest and smoothest way to learn how to have pain free anal sex. But wait…there’s more!
Now that you’ve mastered pain free anal sex, let’s kick it up a notch and move to more advanced techniques for mind blowing anal orgasms.
Once you master the basics of anal sex, it’s time to start experimenting with new and more pleasurable techniques to make your orgasms more intense and enjoyable. Let’s call it multi-tasking.
Your Clit — During anal sex, your clit is not going to be stimulated. With this in mind, here are a few alternative ways to stroke it.
Your own hands — After all, you know what type of stimulation your clit responds to best! Go get em’ girl!
His hands — All he needs to do is reach around and start rubbing and massaging your clit and vagina.
Vibrator — Using a vibrator is a super satisfying anal sex technique. You get to feel every inch of your man inside you while at the same time you get to feel the power of your vibrator on your clit. This can lead to some really intense orgasms.
Oral Sex With Anal Fingering — Have your man perform on you while he inserts his finger in your ass or uses a toy. You’ll get pleasure from clitoral stimulation from his mouth as well as stimulation from him gently arousing your anus. It’s a great sensation for the men, as they can typically feel your sphinctor tighten up as you get excited.
Your man’s penis isn’t the only thing that can stimulate you anally. There are numerous toys you can use during vaginal sex that will give you incredible anal pleasure such
- These are tapered toys with a flared base that you insert anally and stay in place. If you like the feeling of ‘fullness,’ then you will enjoy using a butt plug during sex. Most sex shops also sell vibrating .
- These consist of connected round beads, almost like a necklace that you insert into your anus and then pull out. Many people find that pulling the out during orgasm enhances it.
Check out our selection of anal sex toys to increase your orgasms and fun.
If atypical anal sex isn’t enough for you, then you could try double penetration where you are being penetrated both anally and vaginally at the same time. This can be done with two men or with one man and a toy, or if you’re going solo on your anal sex, two toys.
If you don’t like the idea of having sex with two men at the same time, then using a dildo in your vagina while your man penetrates you anally is the perfect substitute. Many women attest to this as extremely pleasurable and your man will like the feeling too as it makes you feel even tighter.
There are many women that love having anal sex and experience powerful orgasms from it, while others find it too uncomfortable to orgasm and enjoy. The reason for this pain and discomfort is simple.
Related article: How to safely stretch your anus for anal sex
If you rarely have anal sex, your sphincter never gets used to relaxing for your man’s penis. This means that each time you have anal sex, it feels like the first time for your sphincter and it never learns to relax fully and open up.
The only way to overcome this is to have anal sex regularly. This way your sphincter will get used to being full and relaxing around your man. If you don’t get a chance for regular anal sex, then try using a dildo with a flared base (so that it doesn’t get sucked inside you) or use a butt plug when masturbating to train yourself anally.
Once you have tried anal sex with your man a few times, you’ll start to notice that your sphincter relaxes more rapidly and that having anal sex becomes more and more enjoyable for you.
When this starts happening, then you need to start doing some experimentation so that you learn how to get maximum pleasure from anal. The easiest way is to try new positions.
As well as trying new positions, you need to try some of the following things:
Experiment with short, shallow strokes as well as long, deep, penetrating strokes to see what you prefer. Most couples find that they actually love alternating between both.
Experiment with different angles. Does a particular angle feel better than the rest? Do a little experimentation to see what you prefer.
A great anal sex tip is adding in a little dominance and submission play. You may find that anal sex is way hotter when your man is dominating you or vice-versa.
Anal sex can be a huge amount of fun, but there are a few safety considerations to take into account.
Condoms — Unprotected anal sex is considered a high-risk activity for spreading sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) and disease, more so than vaginal sex, because the anus is more delicate that the vagina. In fact, the considers anal sex the riskiest sexual activity for transmitting HIV, especially as the receiver who is 13 times more likely to contract HIV.
Other STIs that you can get from anal sex include:
Chlamydia
Genital herpes
Genital warts
Gonorrhoea
Syphilis
Hepatitis B
HPV, which can present as anal warts
Not only can pass infections to you, but you can pass them to him (HIV can be transmitted through rectal fluid, so I strongly advise that you wear condoms during anal sex. Some people go as far as to say you can never have 100% safe anal sex without one.
Your partners might be hesitant to use condoms during anal sex because there isn’t a pregnancy risk (and people use condoms more often for vaginal than anal sex when asked about their last intercourse experience. But safety should be a priority when it comes to sex.
As we mentioned earlier, you should never use oil-based lube with latex condoms. Doing so will degrade the material leading to tears and breakage. Stick to silicone and water based lubes.
Don’t Double Dip — Switching from anal sex to vaginal sex without changing condoms and thoroughly cleaning his penis is going to lead to an infection known as bacterial vaginosis. It’s also important to not that anal intercourse among women who have sex with women is associate with a higher likelihood of them having bacterial vaginosis .
Toys — The above advice also applies to using sex toys anally. Using a dildo/vibrator/butt plug anally and then switching to some vaginal penetration is going to require cleaning before using it again.
Women aren’t the only ones who can orgasm from anal sex, many guys can too. Men have a gland called the prostate gland that is highly sensitive and many guys find it incredibly pleasurable to have stimulated in their anus.
So, if you and your man are open minded, then you may be interested in penetrating him with a strapon. Penetrating your man anally with a strap on is called pegging and it’s very much like anal sex for you, some guys love it, while others aren’t so interested. It also means that all of the above advice applies to pegging your man with a strapon.
Of course, if you want to give your man some anal stimulation, you don’t have to go straight to pegging him. There are other ways to do it. He can try inserting a butt plug. Or if you like, you can insert a lubed finger in his ass during sex or during a hand job or a blow job. You can essentially follow our guidelines for anal sex and apply it when giving him anal.
Join our Swingers Lifestyle Community for Free and chat with other swingers, talk in our forums and more!
Originally published at https://www.friskycouple.com on October 9, 2020.
